


Kingsman drabbles

by lokidiabolus



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Drabble Collection, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-05 22:51:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4198038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokidiabolus/pseuds/lokidiabolus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short collection of drabbles from Tumblr I occasionally write for random drabble challenges :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. „Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…“

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> misssushicat asked a question   
> HARTWIN FOR NUMBER 17 cuz I just love forcing pairings together (I'm a horrible person I know)

 

**„Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…“**

„I’m not even going to complain anymore,“ Eggsy banged his head against the lift’s wall and slid down along it, dropping on the floor heavily. “This day is shite.”

Not only he woke up into Charlie trying to set his blanket on fire, Roxy shouting at him to cut it out and other boys laughing like hyenas. Nope, it was also that JB made a loo on his bed, he arrived late for a lesson with Merlin who immediately made him an example for some voodoo psycho show, and now he got stuck in a fucking elevator.

With Harry Hart on top of all the people.

“It appears rather unfortunate,” the older man agreed with him, standing straight and proud in his top class suit, and Eggsy wondered how the hell this guy even existed in the first place. He was so out of the century, or reality, like he jumped out of a movie, and Eggsy found himself wondering if he could get closer to the guy, somehow know him better.

He was his mentor, of course, but he barely saw him since he started the training, let alone got to know him how he wanted to.

And, well, he really wanted to for some reason.

“You seem like you want to ask something?” Harry looked at him with raised eyebrows, and his attention was powerful, Eggsy thought. Having him focused _solely_ on Eggsy was strange, but somehow pleasing, and the boy found himself craving it even more than after the initial exhibition of Harry’s skills in a pub, and that was enough said.

“Nah,” Eggsy waved his hand, feeling his lips widening in a smile, and it apparently had an effect on Harry, since the agent suddenly relaxed and felt more approachable than he normally acted. “Just thinking that we haven’t properly talked since I started running after Merlin.”

“I’m sure he’ll be pleased of such statement,” Harry chuckled, and he seemed brighter than when he usually saw him while passing through the HQ. “But you are right. We are not really allowed to talk to you when you’re under the first phases of training, but since the opportunity presented itself…”

“You’re not allowed to talk to me?”

“Any mentor,” Harry responded lightly, then looked at the panel with static number 2 like he was contemplating something, and sat down next to Eggsy with a soft exhale. “This is going to be long.”

“No phone on ya?” Eggsy smirked, leaning into the man teasingly, and Harry met him with a solid form, warm and firm.

“No phone on me,” he nodded, smiling as well, and it made Eggsy feel better about today, somehow. “I’m sure somebody is going to need the lift soon.”

“I hope not too soon,” the blond piped, and it was probably too bold, but Harry didn’t seem to mind since there was a squeeze on his hand and all Eggsy could do was to squeeze back.

He seriously hoped no one will find them for a long time.


	2. „Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?“

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked a question   
>  Hartwin #6 :D

“I couldn’t find any normal clothes,” Eggsy defended himself with false innocence. “And you took my bathrobe with ya.”

“You mean _my_ bathrobe,” Harry corrected him with an exasperated sigh, dragging the red cloth out of his bag and throwing it at Eggsy, straight at his head. “You’ll catch a cold.”

“This is not how porn movies go, jesus, Harry,” Eggsy grumbled, taking the bathrobe to his arms and sitting up. Well, yeah, he had been naked on Harry’s bed, but it was more like a joke, to cheer the guy up a little after a difficult mission in Spain. But Harry seemed rather peevish already, and Eggsy didn’t mean to make him even more upset by one stupid idea, so he put the cloth around his shoulders at least.

“Oh, right,” the older man mumbled while putting the bag down. “My apologies.”

He hooked a finger against the knot of his tie and slowly eased it off, approaching the bed languidly, and for a moment Eggsy thought he was going to flop down and fall asleep, until Harry put a knee on the mattress, threw the tie on the side and pinned the boy under him as if somebody switched a button inside of him.

“Let me remedy that,” his voice shot right through Eggsy like an arrow, leaving him in burning anticipation, and when Harry’s lips briefly touched Eggsy’s neck just to quickly change location to his ear, he thought he was going to be super embarrassing and come just from that.

He hadn’t seen the guy for a month! It made him even more desperate than he thought, and when he raised his hips to meet the body above his, he immediately knew Harry was as happy to see him as Eggsy was.

“You’re such a tit,” the blond breathed out when he circled his legs around Harry’s hips, pulling him closer, and Harry mouthed his neck, marking him thoroughly. “Acting like I bother ya with such a fine gift like myself.”

“A fine gift, huh,” Harry snorted, suddenly rolling them over and Eggsy blinked in surprise when he found himself sitting on top of Harry’s legs, with the man watching him adoringly from below.

“That looks good on ya,” Eggsy chuckled, his fingers slowly reaching Harry’s face, circling his lips, then sliding gently down his chin, mapping his throat and peeling away the shirt he still wore. “Show me more?”

“With pleasure,” Harry rumbled, his hands seizing Eggsy’s hips and moving him closer, making the boy whimper.

 _Welcome home_ , he wanted to say, but Harry sealed his mouth with his and he considered nice, hot French kissing the best proof out of all. 


	3. „You fainted… straight into my arms. You now, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.“

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked a question   
> hartwin? 38? TY!

**„You fainted… straight into my arms. You now, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.“**

 “Ugh, shut up,” Roxy pushed him away, wobbling a little. She looked sick, almost green in her face, and Eggsy wondered if he was going to get slapped, or barfed on. “I’m fine.”

“You look unsavoury at the best, fine is not even near,” Harry’s voice rang through room, and if Eggsy didn’t know the man, he would think he was mocking the poor soul. “You should go get them check you again.”

“And leave this dimwit alone here?” she pointed at the blond shakily, her eyes watery, and Eggsy couldn’t even take it as an insult in her state. “Somebody needs to keep him busy!”

“Consider it done,” Harry assured her, stopping at the arm length from Eggsy, and it probably was all it took for her to believe them, since she nodded slightly and wobbled her way out of the gym, hopefully to find the doctor and more comfortable place than could have been the floor if Eggsy hadn’t caught her.

“If I hadn’t known her, I’d say she’s preggo,” the blond pointed out once the door closed behind her, and Harry chuckled.

“It’s just the drug,” he pointed out and Eggsy hummed, almost forgetting there was this annoying thing circulating in both of their systems now. It was the last mission, a surprise gas attack, and then both him and Roxy were basically crawling out of their skins before they realized they couldn’t stay still. Merlin called it “a drug” after the initial check-up, but since it wasn’t literally deadly or dangerous, he ordered them to keep busy in a pair, preferably in a gym. Physical activity was meant to get it out of their bodies faster as well as stop them from going crazy, since the substance was making idling painful.

“You’re doing well though,” Harry commented on Eggsy’s normal condition, and the blond shrugged, slowly feeling the tingling that was returning because he stood still.

“I have experience with similar shite,” he reminded the older man lightly. It wasn’t like Harry didn’t know, he read his file. Drugs were short part of his life, but they were there, alright. “Prolly helped me a bit.”

“Might as well,” Harry nodded, stepping away slightly and looking Eggsy over. “Is it starting again? You seem restless.”

“A bit. We were training with Roxy before she decided to go down on me,” Eggsy mumbled, scratching his arm nervously. It was making him itchy and uncomfortable. “Face first, eyes closed, green in face, she’s such a dear. Knows how to make a guy hot.”

He saw how Harry rolled his eyes and knew he needed a filter on his mouth sometimes, but now it felt like there were no borders with that nasty stuff in his body. He just needed to _do something_.

“If you don’t mind, I’ll keep you busy instead,” Harry offered, rolling up sleeves on his shirt, and Eggsy couldn’t help but gape at him.

“You?” he stared, dumbfounded, watching how the man put down his glasses on table. “With me?”

“If you see somebody else in the room, I advise you to go get another toxicology test, since you’re probably hallucinating,” Harry delivered dryly and it made Eggsy snort and nod slightly, almost forgetting how sassy Harry could be.

“Fair enough, lovebird,” he grinned, straddled and gestured towards the older man boldly. “If you think you can take me on.”

“I’m pretty sure I can take you, Eggsy,” Harry shot back and Eggsy gasped at the notion. That sly bastard!

“Clever,” he commented, slowly approaching his opponent. “What makes you so _hard-_ willed for keeping me company?”

“Hard-willed is not even a word,” Harry opposed. “And someone has to _lend you a hand_.”

“Goddammit, Harry!” Eggsy almost choked and the smug smile on older man’s lips was enough for the blond to lose it and finally attack. Blood was already boiling in his veins, the idle pain returning and the motion came as a welcomed distraction, until he suddenly found himself on the floor without breath and with Harry standing above him.

“Ouch,” he breathed out and Harry smiled at him like he didn’t just knock him down without any evident effort.

“Another round, _lovebird_?”

“You’re fucking on,” the blond fumed, standing back up like a new-born elephant, and when he was sure his legs were steady, he made another move towards Harry – more careful now, calculated – just to be hiked up to the air again and end up sprawling on the mat.

“Well, fuck me,” he uttered from the floor, earning a hum. “I give up.”

“That soon?” Harry smirked, extending his hand to help the boy up, and once he leaned low enough, Eggsy grabbed him with all his strength and threw him over.

“There,” he chimed, turning on his stomach to look at his companion. Harry looked a little dumbfounded to be suddenly on the ground as well. “Not so smug now, are ya.”

Harry glanced at him from his position for a moment and then started laughing. It was so stupid that Eggsy couldn’t help but laugh as well.

It wasn’t that much later when he found out the idle pain could be defeated with much more pleasant way than beating shit out of somebody.

At least that was what Harry showed him so thoroughly.


	4. „Wait a minute. Are you jealous?“

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked a question   
>  5 and hartwin Thank you! Love you!

**„Wait a minute. Are you jealous?“**

Harry froze like somebody sprayed him with liquid nitrogen and Eggsy felt his jaw dropping low in a complete surprise.

“You are!” he pointed at him like a kid that discovered something new and huge, and couldn’t contain his glee. “You so fucking are!”

“Eggsy-,” Harry’s voice was laced with a warning undertone, but Eggsy was too overwhelmed to mind it. Harry Hart was freaking jealous of Roxy – of Eggsy spending the weekend with her hiking – and he was so obvious about it Eggsy couldn’t believe it at first.

“No, this is precious, for real,” the blond interrupted him with a snort, ignoring Harry’s stony face. “So when I was trying to make you tell me something like that a week ago, you turned me down like a bitch. And now it’s suddenly all bad when I’m trying to get something going over the weekend?”

“You know that’s not true,” Harry retorted grudgingly. “I’m merely saying spending the whole weekend-,”

“With Roxy is a great idea,” Eggsy didn’t let him finish. “She’s smart and fun and wants to do the same thing as me. And when _nobody else_ wanna go with me, what should I do?”

When Harry didn’t say anything, Eggsy thought it was probably for the best. It wasn’t like he wanted to argue with the man, but sometimes he would want to see how his mind worked. It just didn’t make any sense at those moments, like Harry wanted something, but thought it was inappropriate and acted like an idiot that didn’t care, until the shit hit the fan. Then he started being like a child whose toy got stolen and Eggsy refused to be degraded to a mere _object_ he could treat however he wanted.

“If that’s all, thanks for the talk, and I’ll see you on Monday,” he waved Harry off, getting back to packing, only to hear the older man shuffling behind him for a while, until there was a sigh that signalized Eggsy just won the battle.

“I’ve just wanted to spend the weekend home,” Harry said in a low voice. “No hiking, I admit. But it’s a weekend without any missions and I have to leave again on Tuesday, so sue me for wanting to spend it with you stress free _.”_

Eggsy stopped mid move, a blast of shame almost knocking him down. Of course Harry wanted some peace and quiet, this month was crazy for both of them – missions that didn’t let them spend any time together, except for an hour or two between them, and when the free time occurred, Eggsy was so absorbed in trying to get Harry invested in doing something together he never actually asked what _he_ wanted. So when Harry refused the hiking trip, Eggsy never even thought of _why_. He just decided the man wasn’t interested and it made him insulted a little, and this was the result, brilliant.

“Fuck,” he mumbled, turning around slowly, and Harry’s unhappy expression immediately softened under onslaught of Eggsy’s puppy eyes. “Sorry, I should have asked why…”

“I should have told you,” Harry opposed with a tiny shrug and glanced at the table where Eggsy left his cap. He reached for it slowly, watching it like it meant something important and then offered it to the boy. “Have fun there?”

“Oh hell no,” Eggsy groaned, snatching the hat from Harry’s hand. “You’re mean and it’s working, so let me call Roxy and tell her I’m not going, for fuck’s sake. You’re like big child. Mature, my ass.”

“I’ll deny everything,” Harry smirked, watching the boy fuming while unpacking again, and he was clearly very amused, damn him. “No one will believe you.”

“Merlin would,” Eggsy pointed at him threateningly. “He so would and he would make fun of you even from his grave, and-mpfff.”

At least the weekend looked promising. Even though not with hiking.

But Harry definitely looked climbable. 


	5. „Have you lost your damn mind!?“

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked a question   
> For the drabble thing could you do 2 and hartwin. Thanks Babe!

**„Have you lost your damn _mind_!?“**

“Have you?!” the blond shouted back, his voice a crackling static over the transmitter and Harry had a bad feeling the signal was about to give out entirely. “You think sitting there like a duck would accomplish something? Except of make us both killed?!”

“So you think running there was better?!” Harry barked, his patience gone, body shivering from the mere thought of Eggsy getting hurt in process. The forces they faced were numerous and ruthless and one stupid newbie like Eggsy fucking Unwin was like a running target practice for them. But no, the boy just refused to listen to Harry at all, like he did many times before, probably in some form of defiance or late puberty and did things his way. Now they were separated, both with far too great enemy superiority over them, locked away and able to do shit. Because Eggsy just wouldn’t listen.

“At least I did something!” Eggsy was still talking, the words fast and frantic, and Harry could tell he was a nervous wreck over there.

“For fuck’s sake, Eggsy, you will cause me a heart-attack soon,” Harry growled, glancing out of the cover to do a quick headcount. Fifteen guys up there, waiting for him to get out of the cover. Amazing. “Why wouldn’t just listen to me for once?”

“Because the last time I fucking listened to you, you got shot in the head and almost died!” came over the line, and then the static grew quiet and cold. Harry stared at the small device with wide eyes, completely caught up off guard, and there was a swelling feeling inside of his chest, expanding and hurting.

Eggsy was doing all this _fuck this shite, I do what I want_ act because he was… scared? Of Harry making a bad decision and getting hurt again?

“Eggsy?” he activated the line again, his breath hitching a little. “Eggsy, do you hear me?”

“Ye,” the boy’s voice flooded the line again, and it made Harry a little calmer. “But I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Harry took a breath, ready to say something, but then thought better of it and remained quiet for a little longer. It wasn’t a pleasant topic – not for him, not for Eggsy, not for anyone. But it wasn’t a taboo. If it was making Eggsy this problematic, they _had to_ work on it.

“Alright,” he said after a moment of radio silence. “We won’t talk about it _now_. But we will definitely talk about it _later._ ”

“Fine,” Eggsy bit out and there was an annoyance in his voice, but he weren’t closed off to the topic completely. Harry considered it a win, even though he wasn’t really feeling victorious.

It was a little sad, but what Eggsy didn’t know was a simple concept of the boy getting hurt scared Harry as much as it scared Eggsy the other way around.


	6. “Please, don’t leave.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked a question  
> Hartwin with number 3 and some angst please *wink wink* (would be a bonus if Harry said that too)
> 
> shebadango asked a question  
> Hartwin with 3 and 7 together? ^_^
> 
> “Please, don’t leave.”  
> “I almost lost you.”

**“Please, don’t leave.”**

Those words were in Eggsy’s mind echoing for days. For weeks, for months, they continued to threaten his sanity every time he saw Harry’s back retreating, every single time Harry said _we will talk later_ or _I’ll be back soon_. It was whispering in his head like a little, sly voice that didn’t want him to have a moment of peace.

 _Please, don’t leave_ , he wanted to shout at him, to catch his hand and stop him, to lock him up somewhere safe. _Please, stay with me_.

He knew being paranoid made the matters only worse. He was aware Harry was a capable agent who could take care of himself. That the fact he got shot by Valentine and considered dead for Eggsy’s whole mission of _saving the word while aching inside_ was not a thing that could repeat easily. Harry could fight. Harry knew how to protect himself. Harry could survive.

And yet…

“Maybe you should talk to psychologist,” Roxy offered calmly, making the blond look at her like she grew another head. “It’s a trauma, Eggsy. And traumas are not good to take lightly, trust me.”

“I can deal,” he uttered, folding a paper he had been writing on the past half an hour of a meeting. It was already rummaged to the point he couldn’t read anything he had written there anymore.

There was a mission. Harry took it. Eggsy thought the voice in his head would deafen him when the older man said _I will go_ to Merlin. The scar on the side of his head was a grim reminder what could happen – how fragile he was, how humane. Yet still strong, still active, and Eggsy was beginning to think he was going to need handcuffs or maybe a cell he could hold him in.

“No, you can’t,” she reprimanded him sternly. “If you think you can outsmart us, you can’t. I can see it on you every time you look at him. You can’t fool us, and you pretty much can’t fool yourself.”

Roxy was a smart person. She was really emphatic and caring. But sometimes he couldn’t stand that – especially when she tried to play a psychiatrist to him with the matters he wanted to keep buried.

 _Talk it out_ , she used to say. _You’ll feel better_.

He never felt better. Talking meant remembering. Remembering meant hurting. Hurting meant he was going to have a restless night full of nightmares, blood and bullets.

“What are you two still here for?” Merlin’s voice interrupted him from his thoughts and he glanced at the door where the quartermaster stood with his neatly bound papers, looking back at them. “The meeting is over already.”

“Just talking,” Roxy answered with a little hesitation and Eggsy frowned. She was trying to leave subtle hints, he saw that. He didn’t want Merlin to pick it up as well.

“Harry left?” the boy asked to keep the quartermaster off the track. “Or not yet?”

“Not yet,” Merlin shrugged, approaching the table slowly. “If you need him for something, he’s in the lower floor.”

“I want to go instead of him,” Eggsy informed him in a serious tone and Merlin barked a laugh and put the papers on the table.

“Instead of him?” he repeated in amusement. “Shouldn’t have you said so before Harry took the materials for it?”

“I’ve decided now,” Eggsy brushed him off. The blood was boiling, the voice screaming. _Don’t leave, don’t leave, please, don’t leave._

“Cheeky brat,” Merlin commented it dryly and pushed his glasses up his nose. “By all means, go and ask Harry about it. But I’m fairly sure he won’t budge.”

 _He won’t budge_.

Harry was a proud professional. He never mingled personal life and his work. He wasn’t like Eggsy who woke up at night screaming his name and pleading him to live. He didn’t need to listen to too loud music to drown the voice inside of his head down.

“Is something the matter, Eggsy?” Harry asked, suddenly in front of him, and Eggsy blinked in surprise, confused how he managed to get down without noticing, and Harry looked at him curiously, then worry passed his features.

“Are you alright?” he asked the boy softly, dropping down the gun he was apparently checking – oh right, they were in an armoury, Eggsy realized – and took few steps closer. “You look unusually pale.”

“I can’t do this anymore,” Eggsy heard himself saying. His mind felt numb.

“Do what?” there was an apparent worry now, Harry’s eyes wide and a little afraid, and Eggsy felt his body moving, closing the gap, reaching for Harry’s jacket.

“I almost lost you.”

“Eggsy…”

“I took the mission,” he cut Harry out. “I’m going instead of you. Merlin approved.”

“What?” the older agent gasped. “What are you saying?”

“I’m going instead of you,” the blond repeated. “Alone. You stay.”

“No,” a blatant refusal hit him almost physically. Harry stared at him, his face suddenly hard and a little angry. “There is no way I’m letting you go there.”

“I got a green light from Merlin,” Eggsy mauled once more. “I’m going. You can’t stop me.”

He forced his hand to let Harry’s jacket go, he made himself step further, to turn around and build a barrier. He had to, the voice was deafening him, it hurt him inside, he-

“Please, don’t leave.”

He stopped, breath hitching in his throat, everything was spinning. He heard footsteps and suddenly Harry was behind him, his big hands seizing the boy firmly by his arms, crushing him against his body.

“Please, don’t leave,” Harry repeated and Eggsy was lost. He felt the tremor in his legs, his knees giving out, and Harry was holding him, cradling him close and all he could do was to turn around and hold him as well.

“Please, don’t leave,” he whispered to Harry’s chest and heard a deep rumble from there.

He felt safe. He needed this. He was never going to let go.


	7. “Could you repeat that?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous said:  
> Could you please do hartwin and 'could you repeat that?' Thank you!!

**“Could you repeat that?”**

“No,” Eggsy immediately edged away and Roxy took a step closer. “You’d kill me.”

“Yes, I would,” she agreed easily, her eyes fiery and Eggsy decided now wasn’t the right time to play a hero, so he turned around and fled. From a girl in high heels he just called a hooker. Out of fun, of course. He meant it as a tease. She rarely wore high heels with short skirt and tight top, he was ought to nag her a little.

At least that was what he thought – she did it all the time to him! But nope, a girl immediately snapped at him, and if he didn’t know her, he would probably make that serious mistake and repeat his statement with a self-satisfied smirk. Then probably got shot or stabbed or stepped on.

So he made his haste through the corridor, finding one of the room unlocked and fell in with a heavy breathing, closing it and leaning against the door in an attempt to stop her approach. He didn’t really know if she ran after him – high heels after all – but he didn’t want to risk it.

“A devil is chasing you?” Harry’s voice immediately pulled him back into the reality and he found himself in a study with the man sitting comfortably in an armchair, a glass of brandy on a table and a book in his hand.

“Oh… hey,” he waved lamely, stepping away from the door like he just did nothing. “Was just… testing how fast Roxy can run in high heels.”

“And the result?” the older agent asked with a smirk, apparently amused enough to put the book away, and Eggsy decided it was better than roaming the hallway with a promise of a painful death, so he took a spot next to Harry on an arm rest like an uncultivated pretty woman.

“Not sure until she finds me and kills me with them,” he answered and Harry didn’t move away at all, instead of that he swung his arm around the boy’s waist and pulled him a little closer.

“And we can’t have that, can we,” Harry chuckled, his hand slowly rubbing Eggsy’s hip, and the boy decided that _no, they definitely couldn’t have that_ , because he was now under protection of mighty Harry Hart whom he had an urge to kiss right now.

“I may need a protection spell or somethin’ tho,” the blond pointed out, fidgeting enough to almost face his lover, and Harry gave him a nice, pleased smile and tugged at Eggsy’s hoodie to drag him lower for a soft peck.

“I certainly hope you didn’t mean a new identity in Mexico, playing José,” he noted after a moment and Eggsy snorted and let his body slid down, right on Harry’s lap.

“No, amigo,” he assured him cheekily. “I certainly meant more Disney way to assure my safety.”

“No duets,” Harry warned him while pulling him close. “It would probably kill us before Roxy.”

“Less Disney,” Eggsy edged, dragging his lips over Harry’s teasingly. “Maybe more of an adult movie.”

“Adult Disney?” Harry offered, catching Eggsy’s face between his hands and kissing him gently. “That’s something I can do.”

“Sweet,” the boy grinned and dived in as well.

He just hoped Roxy wouldn’t come across this room anytime soon. 


	8. "I’m lost.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous said:  
> Hartwin and I'm lost Thank you sweetheart

**"I’m lost.”**

“What do you mean you are lost?” Harry stopped walking and frowned. Eggsy sounded like a puppy over the phone and he wondered how the hell he could pick up such thing over the telephone line. He could almost see him doing those puppy eyes of his.

“I took few turns left and right and now I’m lost,” the boy repeated the grave information and Harry had to take a deep breath.

“What did I tell you about taking GPS with you?” he chided him in a low voice, and Eggsy on the other side of the line sighed.

“Nothin’,” he blasted him unhappily. “You said  _take a map_.”

“And?”

“Lost it,” Eggsy uttered and Harry gave up. There was no way the boy meant this seriously – zero orientation sense? Since when?

“Are you making fun of me?” he tried, probably sounding reprimanding, but dealing with youngsters was harder and harder each passing year. He was probably getting old.

“No?” Eggsy opposed lightly. “Should I?”

“Eggsy, there is no way you’d get lost,” he sighed tiredly and started walking again, but this time to the meeting room. He could surely find the signal from Eggsy’s gadgets and track him from there.

“Well, you’re right,” he heard and almost dropped his phone. When he entered the meeting room, Eggsy was boldly sitting on the table, Merlin held a bottle of champagne, Roxy a cake (he was glad there was only one candle on it, thank you very much) and Percival threw confetti in the air.

“Happy birthday, Harry,” Eggsy grinned at him, that sly fox, and jumped off the table to throw him a hug.

It was later on when Harry inquired if Eggsy truly believed he would fall for a joke like the boy getting lost somehow, and the blond smiled at him, pecked him on a lips and said: “If I did, you’d find me.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> but-monsters-are-always-hungry said:  
> Hartwin and five times this OTP compromised and one time they blew up over something trivial? OuO
> 
> Thank you! <3 I hope it’s not too lame, haha. Done for the N + 1 THINGS MEME. (I thought I’ll sneak in some m-rated time, but... xD)

“How much longer?”

“Patience is a virtue,” Harry shot over his shoulder and got back to the decoding, earning a snarl from his younger counterpart. The steps from the hallway were passing and returning in threatening intervals and Eggsy _knew_ it was just question of time before they were going to decide to look into this room as well, finding them fiddling with the vault like two burglars.

“Harry, for fuck’s sake,” he growled, stepping closer to the man with an urge to pull at his hair to wake up already. He was working like nothing could ever happen to him and it was making Eggsy so fucking impatient.

“Calm down,” the older spy retorted and a click signalized he was a step closer to cracking the code. Just so _damn slow_. “I’ve almost got it.”

“Harry-,” Eggsy’s speech got interrupted by an insistent handle grabbing from the other side of the room and voices motioning angrily at the state of the locked door. Eggsy paled and Harry stiffened like he got covered with liquid nitrogen.

“Great, what now?” Eggsy whispered towards his mentor angrily, but Harry kept the silence, the safe clicked one more time, and the lock in the door started to move how their company began their siege.

“It’s done-,”

“It’s too late!”

A loud bang and then three men stood in between the door, staring at them, and Eggsy by a miracle stopped a whine when Harry pushed him down and stood up instead of him. He held the blond by his head at _very_ dangerous place of his body and Eggsy had to count to ten before he held himself from biting him, or hitting him where it would hurt more than Eggsy’s shattered pride.

“Oh, awkward,” Harry said with fake shame and his hand pulled at Eggsy’s hair like a reprimand when the boy tried to shuffle. _Fucking bastard_.

“Uh,” one of the men said, his eyes darting everywhere. “Sorry lads. C-carry on.”

More footsteps and the door banged closed again, leaving them both alone in the worst position Eggsy could ever imagine ending up at with this guy.

“You’re so fucking lame,” he growled up at him when Harry finally let go of his hair, but teasingly patting his head.

“And you’re such a good boy,” he had the nerve to wink and got back to the vault.

His only luck was it was really opened and Eggsy was too glad for it to stuff that guy inside and lock him there.

 

**2.**

“I’m sorry, I thought your last name is Evans?”

Eggsy paled and his body got rigid. Did he seriously just introduce himself with Harry’s fake name? What was wrong with him?! The whole group of those posh snobs stared at him like they were expecting for his head to explode and Eggsy would actually welcome it now. It felt like his tuxedo was getting a bit too tight around the neck.

How could he mess up so fucking bad?

“His last name _was_ Evans,” Harry suddenly spoke up and there was a hand on Eggsy’s waist, pulling him closer possessively. “But it’s Dace now. It took some persuasion, but in the end he gave up and took my name.”

 _Oh my god_.

“Oh,” one of the women scanned them both thoughtfully. “I was wondering about the familiarity… now it makes sense.”

“How long are you married?” another woman asked and her voice was strangely eager. Eggsy wanted to spit out he would never willingly consent to marry this old fucker, but Harry’s hand gripped him firmer like had been expecting it, and it quieted him down.

“Two months,” Harry beamed at the blond and if Eggsy didn’t know, he would believe him as well. What a damn player he was, the females were eating from his hand without an ounce of shame. “Pardon him the slip, he keeps on trying to maintain his _freedom_ , but we both know once he said _yes_ , it was too late.”

Laughter filled the room and Eggsy planned a murder.

 

**3.**

Eggsy couldn’t find him for about half an hour and it was making his hands itch. He tried to call him, connect with the wireless network, get Merlin to help, but Harry’s line remained quiet and his whereabouts unknown. Eggsy ran through the whole mansion several times until his legs hurt in a crazy hope Harry was just hiding somewhere, or flirting somewhere, or getting wasted instead of working (which was highly unlikely, but it was still better than him getting caught).

In his fifth attempt of going through the second floor, he finally heard voices and there was no doubt one belonged to Harry and the other to the guard who definitely had to catch him where he shouldn’t have been (so much for the _cooperation_ ).

“Here you are, dad!” Eggsy exclaimed right the moment the two of them entered his line of sight, and it apparently startled them both, since they stopped arguing. “I was searching for you everywhere!”

Harry’s eyebrows shot up immediately and it served him right, especially when the guard watched him in surprise.

“Sorry about him,” Eggsy grabbed Harry’s arm and pulled him closer to him. “He’s already a little confused, you know, old age.”

There was an evident revolt in Harry’s eyes, but Eggsy just patted him on his cheek like a little baby and smiled with fake sweetness.

“Searched for the bathroom again, dad? I told you it’s in the first floor.”

“Take him out of here,” the guard pointed at Harry threateningly. “Don’t let it happen again.”

“I’ll make sure, sorry about the trouble,” Eggsy nodded and pulled at Harry’s arm again to get him moving. He didn’t need to see his face to know he was going to get an earful after.

 

**4.**

“What did you just say?!”

Eggsy realized it was too late to act polished, and he was pretty much aware that his voice rang like a gunshot through the glass, but he was raging and the anger just bubbled out like lava, scorching everything along the way.

“Excuse me?” the young man asked, his voice posh and eyes stern, and Eggsy wanted to hit his stupid face, or smash it to the plate with shrimps and sauce. There was no excuse of Eggsy’s behaviour, no _oh sorry, I overreacted_ kind of line that would save the cover, and he just gave up.

“I apologize,” Harry’s voice suddenly pierced the tension and the man entered the picture gracefully. “There had been a very bad experience before and _Alfred_ is very protective when it comes to somebody insulting his family.”

“It was impolite,” another voice added to the conversation and Eggsy wanted to shout at him too to shut up, but the guy who said that was actually looking at the young man Eggsy had been fighting with, and not him as he expected. “As a host you can’t just spout profanities around.”

“But-,” the Charlie-wannabe started, but the unhappy scowl Harry adopted shut him up. “Ugh. Sorry.”

“Thank you,” the older spy motioned towards him and glanced at Eggsy. It was nice of him, really, to step to his rescue like that, until Harry mouthed _loudmouth_ at him and disappeared in the crowd again.

_Ugh, that guy._

 

**_5._ **

“I don’t understand how you two manage to pull those stunts all the time, but this was the last drop,” Merlin glared at them like an angry mother and Eggsy wanted to laugh when he saw how Harry’s expression turned meek.

Bless Merlin.

“You do realize you could have been caught?” the quartermaster continued unhappily. “ _Again_?!”

“We have never been caught before,” Eggsy opposed to get them a little breathing space – because hey, they had been close, but they always managed to save the day in the end, it had to count for something.

“Oh yes, I forgot,” Merlin gave him a stern look and Eggsy knew a painful jab was coming their way. “By telling people you’re either married, father and son, caught during a blow job, having an anger management issuesand _having sex in an office_!”

“Well, we haven’t really got to the sex part,” Harry piped boldly. “They arrived too soon.”

“For fuck’s sake…” Eggsy groaned, but it was Merlin whose expression could kill crowds.

“This was the last time _I_ was saving your sorry asses,” he pointed at both of them. “And by the way, the so-called sex noises were fake as fuck.”

“That’s because we haven’t gotten to the sex part,” Harry shrugged and Eggsy was thankful Merlin shouted at them to get out.

 

**+1**

“Do you really have to do that all the time?”

Harry slowed down, his chest heaving, and gave the boy a weird look.

“Do what all the time?” he asked and Eggsy didn’t really believe him that he didn’t know what he was talking about.

“Keep on pretending we are involved when we are on a mission,” he elaborated anyway but Harry’s expression didn’t really change. He stopped completely though and Eggsy did the same.

“As far as I know it helped,” the older man pointed out, and Eggsy though he heard annoyance in his voice for some reason. But why would he even get annoyed over it? It was _him_ who kept on doing that anyway.

“As far as I know it only made me embarrassed,” he decided to tell him and crossed his arms on his chest. “I mean if you want some, all you need to do is ask.”

“If I want-,” Harry stared at him and took a deep breath. “If you haven’t noticed, _all_ of it was conventional, and precisely as shocking as the situation demanded for them to stop being suspicious. If you tried to bully them with something mild, they would question you immediately. I thought you’ve already learned _something_ during your time in the Kingsman.”

“If you don’t know how to explain stuff, pretend you’ve fucked with somebody?” Eggsy snorted, the notion ridiculous as hell. “Keep telling yourself that it was because the mission needed it.”

“What-,”

“I’m pretty sure you just want to tap this,” he turned his thumbs to his chest and grinned, especially when Harry inhaled sharply. “And I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t say no if you asked.”

“Are you-,”

“Yes, are you done with the flirting now?” a female voice interrupted them and Eggsy’s throat tightened when he realized they had been stupidly standing in the middle of a hallway they had been running through to get away from their pursuers. The same pursuers that were standing about three meters from them, with guns and shit-eating grins on their faces.

“We will finish this _later_ ,” Harry pointed at the blond fiercely and then the shit storm started. Eggsy was pretty sure he was going to make the _finish_ as pleasant as he could.

If Merlin wouldn’t kill them for actually blowing up their cover this time.


End file.
